Just found this super cute etsy shop with a range of affirming PDA related products.
Gosh, I’d have loved a ‘yay it’s PDA’ card back in September 2022..
Category: Uncategorized
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Hat Pattern
Just wanted to share the link to the pattern of the hat WIP I posted to instagram
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Finding the glimmers
Trying something my therapist suggested: finding ways to be present, and notice the glimmers for the next week.
So here are some things that bring me a little joy in my immediate surroundings:
Of course, my Lulu 
Knitting in general – the top one is the stitch pattern for a scarf I’ve just startred 
Perception related topics 
Signed copy of Klara and the Sun 
My board games 
The kindness by post project -
Today’s thought
Everything on my photos app right now is: Lulu.
That represents two things – I love her very much, but also I don’t have enough else going on in my life. It’s hard when you don’t drive in a pretty spread out, rural county.
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A soft return
Hello again. I’ve been away for a while, and I’m going to ease back in gently. PDAfae might look a little different from here on: less raw, broader, more short form posts and images. More of me, with no pressure, just presence.
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How you can support me (if you’re able)
I wouldn’t be here without you. Every bit of support helps me keep creating, and I appreciate it more than words can say! https://ko-fi.com/plumfae
I live on a low income, so I really appreciate any support you can offer me if you’ve enjoyed my content!
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Update
Recently I’ve been really struggling with social isolation and feeling very lonely. I live alone, and lost all of my friends after my 2023 mania. I haven’t managed to make anymore yet.
There don’t seem to exist opportunities to meet people where I live. There seems to be a social viewpoint that a worthwhile thirty something is at least a parent, definitely in work, and ideally in a committed relationship. Being outside of those categories means no one wants to know.
I attend a local community hub, that is only open for four hours a day… so this doesn’t fill up much time. It’s also mainly attended by people in their 50s and upwards. Anyone around my age is a volunteer, and thus not allowed to share phone numbers with me. As for volunteering myself, the leaders of the hub don’t seem to think I’m ready to do so…
But then, this isn’t just a here and now problem. It’s a pervasive, lifelong problem. My life story is one of ostracisation and bullying. friendship breakdown and social isolation. It makes me feel like I’m not fit for human interaction, that I don’t fit with my fellow humans… and it reduces my quality of life.
It doesn’t help that I was in a situation where I had no control over where I ended up living. If I was able to work, I’d probably rent a flat in a local city, where there would be greater social opportunities.
I’m really frustrated by my life right now.
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To echo my post on Instagram:
The way I posted during and shortly after my hospitalisation has left me feeling out of control of PDAfae. It altered my usual posting style, especially as psychosis causes disorganised speech, which I was still slightly affected by when I returned here.
On Instagram I deleted a few posts to regain a sense of control. I am not sure if the same answer is right here. I might simply alter those posts with a note denoting their circumstances and that I may no longer agree with their content. Some may be deleted though.
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Limitations
It goes without saying that life with disability, is a life lived with limitations. And I suppose also, it’s worth noting that that is every life lived, ever. No one is capable of every single thing ever.
I’m struggling at the moment though, to accept the very real limits on my capacity, my chances, my opportunities – my ability to live my life as I would fully, authentically choose. I guess that’s part of being a PDAer, we don’t take well to having that taken from us. For me, my chronic pain and my bipolar (and my undiagnosed traumatic stress) really do take that autonomy from me.
Hopefully over time I can go from strength to strength. Hopefully I can build a robust, and real, support network. Hopefully clopixol is as good a drug for me as I think it could be. Hopefully I can quit being a revolving door patient now we’re five years on from 2020.
It’s all just “hopes” though. Progress is slow, and so uncertain. It’s so hard not to get lost in the “if only” and the anger. The grief. The rage at mental health teams that seriously let me down in my 20s. I first communicated my complex trauma at 22, at 34 I still do not actually have any trauma diagnosis – I find this frankly ridiculous. The closest I ever came was “it’s mild trauma, therefore BPD”… which just, uh, no. I’m angry that I had to spend thousands of pounds of savings to get a PDA modifier that was the only reason they ever changed their tunes, and started actually *listening* to me.
What do you even do with that amount of anger? It’s only worthwhile if it’s used to channel towards something. I’ll always value fellow psychiatric survivors/patients/service users, of any stripe.
On that note, I’mma quit rambling, and share one small thing I’m doing to try and help make a difference:
Raising money for mind is a small way I can channel myself, my experiences and my emotions right now – please, if you can, help me take a stand for those of us in society living with mental distress.
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My little aromantic valentines
I’m dating myself tonight, lol.
I’m re-creating old faves from a shitty past relationship: rum, cola, churros, nasi goreng. I’m sat in a local cafe-bar.
I’m in love with study. With the individual members of my inner world (plurality is an odd phenomenon, and no I will never be naming any of those parts of self openly). My family, my future pets, my future adopted kiddos – I have so much love to give those little ones, honestly.
I’m full of love for Cardiff, the first time I ever felt “at home”, but sensible enough to remain where I am right now – because having a place to live is a reason to love life.
I’m not in love with every aspect of everything, and never will be. But reasons to live are reason enough!
It’s interesting being aromantic on Valentine’s day. It’s a “holiday” I never saw the point of: socially prescribed romance day ughhhhh. I’ve never celebrated it with a partner, never ever wanted to. It’s actually quite nice sitting here typing away on a “break the norms” valentines self-date.
Here’s to queer platonic relationships, and one dedicated nesting partner – all to be found yet. Here’s to kitties, and dogs, and homes, and work, and PDA and NAUGHTINESS! Here’s to the disobedience that PDAers live and breathe – I exhort you: disobey (the rules, the guidance, the social norms!)
PDA fae 