Update

Recently I’ve been really struggling with social isolation and feeling very lonely. I live alone, and lost all of my friends after my 2023 mania. I haven’t managed to make anymore yet.

There don’t seem to exist opportunities to meet people where I live. There seems to be a social viewpoint that a worthwhile thirty something is at least a parent, definitely in work, and ideally in a committed relationship. Being outside of those categories means no one wants to know.

I attend a local community hub, that is only open for four hours a day… so this doesn’t fill up much time. It’s also mainly attended by people in their 50s and upwards. Anyone around my age is a volunteer, and thus not allowed to share phone numbers with me. As for volunteering myself, the leaders of the hub don’t seem to think I’m ready to do so…

But then, this isn’t just a here and now problem. It’s a pervasive, lifelong problem. My life story is one of ostracisation and bullying. friendship breakdown and social isolation. It makes me feel like I’m not fit for human interaction, that I don’t fit with my fellow humans… and it reduces my quality of life.

It doesn’t help that I was in a situation where I had no control over where I ended up living. If I was able to work, I’d probably rent a flat in a local city, where there would be greater social opportunities.

I’m really frustrated by my life right now.