PDA fae

Tag: sensory processing

  • sensory logging initial findings

    What I’m noticing so far is that I’m a lot more either sensory sensitive, or low registration, than sensory seek or avoid. This seems inline with my therapist’s suggestion that if I’m those first two, and not actively using strategies to manage sensory input, then life becomes stressful and unenjoyable.

    We noticed that I hadn’t recorded much proprioceptive content. There were a few vestibular things I picked up on, such as being very nerve-y on stairs, struggling to balance, and swaying when sitting. The first of those, I had thought was linked to a trauma, but I suppose now it may not be. We also noticed a few items suggesting visual sensivity.

    Going forward, she’s encouraged me to focus on sense each day to capture more detail, and to hopefully with that focus notice more things involving that sense that happen each day.

  • Late diagnosis benefits

    I’ve been struggling recently to find life enjoyable. I thought this was because my life was lacking things I needed for fulfilment/satisfaction/contentment and that I needed to find things to add to my life. This was in spite of having a meaningful job, friends at my supported living scheme, meetup groups that I’ve started attending, Christmas to look forward to and secure housing.

    My therapist posited that this might mean it’s not that I need to add anything. Instead, she suggested that, it might be that the unconscious processes of managing demands, sensory needs, energy levels and stimulation levels might be so draining that’s what’s making life hard to enjoy. That was definitely something I hadn’t thought of, but seems worth considering. So, to begin addressing this, she suggested bringing these processes into conscious awareness. I’m starting with sensory needs, recording what I’m over and under responsive to each day. The aim is to move from passive self-regulation, to gaining more ways to actively self-regulate, either sensory seeking or avoiding.

    I’m really hoping that we’re onto something here. Struggling to enjoy life has been a long term problem historically, often only interrupted by the early stages of a manic episode, in which I can entertain myself with my own thoughts. I think in part it’s affected by my tendency to spend a lot of time in low moods. Unfortunately, I can’t take anti-depressants as they will induce a manic episode. Having not been aware of my neurodevelopmental differences for 30 plus years, I had had no way to consider the effects of demands, sensory input and under stimulation. This is where identification of these factors is invaluable, as I can now pay attention and take action directed at these specifically.

    For example, I’ve recently started making use of ear defenders in public. I love that these make me visibly autistic. It’s a neuroaffirming experience to be open and proud of my neurodivergencies, instead of ashamed, masking and feeling weird. Another accommodation we discussed was around meal times. I tend to avoid the fact that I’m eating whilst doing so, essentially dissociating from eating. As a result of our discussion, I gave myself permission to order some ready made Huel meal drinks. We also discussed blending meals, and drinking them rather than eating as a possible way to remove texture based sensory overwhelm.

    It’s so good to finally be able to identify, accept and meet my own needs.