PDA fae

Tag: occupational therapy

  • OT needs assessment… and no sleep

    It’s not even 4am right now, but tonight I don’t seem to be able to get sleepy. I think it’s because I am starting my occupational therapy needs assessment later today, with a trip to a supermarket, and a cooking exercise.

    I’m nervous.

    I’m nervous because… I feel like I’m handing information to an unknown someone else to make decisions for me, without my input based on how I perform. I’m nervous about getting what I need, but also what I *want* from the decisions they make – more nervous about this actually. I want to be able to say ‘I want XYZ’ and have them find the funding. My OT explained that a lot of people would overestimate their need, and then be handed far too much if it worked like that, which I can understand. Even so, it’s still stressful to wait on someone else’s decision.

    Last time I was in this position I had much more faith in supported housing as an option. The let down of my supported housing, their refusal to work with my PDA profile adequately, however has left me very wary. I’d want autism specific supported housing this time, and I am not sure that exists within my local area. I could be moved to a different area within my county, but then I lose my care co-ordinator, end up under a different CMHT… far too much change and uncertainty. I know my current care co-ordinator is happy to provide my depot by thigh injections for example, which is the only delivery method available that I’m comfortable with. I also don’t want to face the risk of the decision that I don’t need a care co-ordinator because I “seem well” and have supported housing, after a move to a new area – it happened last time, I transferred from one region to another, and the new CMHT deemed me as not needing a community psychiatric nurse to act as a care co-ordinator.

    What I’d ideally like is my own place, under my own autonomous control, with support visiting me. I’d love to train myself a psychiatric service dog, to alert to manic episodes, ground me through delusions, racing thoughts alert to irritability, and rising demand anxiety. Something that might be particularly useful would be grounding through rising states of emotion and panic in response to demand anxiety.

    I am very anxious that the decision makers will deny me access to this, based on a version of me on paper. Or that housing where a dog in training won’t be possible to find. I’m also against the idea of supported housing, as it would very likely not be possible to have a dog/puppy live there whilst training.

    I really hate these situations of waiting in wards for an answer to a housing crisis. There’s pros this time, I’m on a much nicer ward, I have the distraction of starting my university studies, better support from the ward manager/care co-ordinator/psychiatrist/discharge co-ordinator/occupational therapist/nurses to move things forward quicker. I just am not so keen on how things feel so open ended and uncertain in terms of what type of accommodation and support might be decided on as meeting my needs.

  • The wonders of OT sessions

    One of the main interventions on psychiatric units is occupational therapy. I have many reservations about the ethics of detainment, and forced medication, but also mixed feelings as I know I become very vulnerable in the community. When it comes to OT work however, I have had very strong, positive experiences.

    Often it takes me a long time to be able to ‘participate’ in OT sessions, as there is a set activity – which of course is then a demand! However, most, if not all OTs I have met have been very willing to allow me to be in the activity space, and avoiding or subverting the session – so long as I abide by basic non-negotiable rules (which when initially ill can be a challenge).

    Over time however, through that process of being allowed to sit, observe, subvert, wander off when needed, it becomes more and more possible for me to join in – though usually still in a way of my own choosing, especially with arts and crafts groups.

    I have, for example, sat and knitted in groups under the supervision of staff, when everyone else is painting. I’ve painted emotion plates, based on the idea of Rothko art pieces, where the colours convey emotion. Occasionally I’ve been inspired to give painting a go – I painted a salamander after a conversation with another patient, which felt really good. Usually I particularly avoid painting because I have issues with the fine motor skills of using a paintbrush.

    Today, I created a piece of protest art about mad pride. It’s little doodles of aspects of the medical response to mental illness, compared to a more psychosocial, human connection, non-pathologising response to distress. I’m very tempted to keep using these sessions to produce these little posters, and perhaps eventually open an etsy where I can sell prints of my designs (ot perhaps use my kofi page).

    I’m inspired by the work of: sportsbanger, mad covid/the STOP SIM campaign and rachel rowan olive . I’d want to make content about PDA, Autism, mad pride, and disability rights.