For many years, the main intrusive traumatic stress symptom I had was rumination. Turns out, an ADHD mind can hyperfocus on trauma, as pointed out by my therapist. My brain will hyperfocus for months, if not years on end on the events and meaning of my trauma – because autistic brains look for the why, and the reason. Unlike allistic brains, finding an explanation really helps autistic people let something be and understand something. Most therapists have said ‘what’s the point, what does the ‘why’ change?’, my current therapist understands that it’s different for autistics.
It’s not a good thing to hyperfocus on trauma. It becomes the only thing I can think and talk about, which overwhelms the people around me. It’s prevented me from studying properly, and is the main reason I couldn’t study at university. It becomes very literally all consuming.
Thankfully, understanding my ADHD and PDA helps – it’s the rhyme and reason as to why adults in my life became so forceful and abusive. It’s absolutely not an excuse, but it is an explanation. That alone means my brain has far less to puzzle out and want to make sense of.
PDA fae 