I missed posting last year because I was unwell with mania right up until early January this year. When I look back at my 2022 post, I realise now that it still wasn’t the most normal of Christmas Eve’s because of the supported housing. I’ve since realised they were unsupportive and discriminatory towards my autism, likely because of the word “pathological”.
So I’m actually counting this as my first normal Christmas Eve since 2019. My own flat – not a supported place -, large enough to truly decorate without clutter. The supported housing flat was a studio flat with a wall in the middle, meaning I was effectively living in the space of my now living room. That alone made me depressed.
So, this year? Gut issues from lamotrigine, but I went for an early morning walk and got medicine for that. I also got to fuss a lovely boxer, and meet a hyper spaniel.
I’ve got my Christmas lights on. For the first time ever, I decided to try a simmer pot – smelled amazing. I delivered a gift to neighbours who took care of me as I was having a post traumatic stress reaction (that built into mania).
As ever this Christmas, I’ve got radio on, for company, Christmas music, and normal music mixed up together. It’s a nice background.
I’ve also got NORAD santa tracker going. Childish, maybe, but I prefer to call it childlike. It’s a bit of fun that I’ve done for a few years now.
It’s strange adapting to Christmas Eve alone, back in 2019 and 2020 I was with family for all of advent, now I only see them on a handful of days. I’m learning how to enjoy days solo, and see the magic in alone time.
PDA fae 