PDA fae

Tag: family

  • Christmas eve 2024!

    I missed posting last year because I was unwell with mania right up until early January this year. When I look back at my 2022 post, I realise now that it still wasn’t the most normal of Christmas Eve’s because of the supported housing. I’ve since realised they were unsupportive and discriminatory towards my autism, likely because of the word “pathological”.

    So I’m actually counting this as my first normal Christmas Eve since 2019. My own flat – not a supported place -, large enough to truly decorate without clutter. The supported housing flat was a studio flat with a wall in the middle, meaning I was effectively living in the space of my now living room. That alone made me depressed.

    So, this year? Gut issues from lamotrigine, but I went for an early morning walk and got medicine for that. I also got to fuss a lovely boxer, and meet a hyper spaniel.

    I’ve got my Christmas lights on. For the first time ever, I decided to try a simmer pot – smelled amazing. I delivered a gift to neighbours who took care of me as I was having a post traumatic stress reaction (that built into mania).

    As ever this Christmas, I’ve got radio on, for company, Christmas music, and normal music mixed up together. It’s a nice background.

    I’ve also got NORAD santa tracker going. Childish, maybe, but I prefer to call it childlike. It’s a bit of fun that I’ve done for a few years now.

    It’s strange adapting to Christmas Eve alone, back in 2019 and 2020 I was with family for all of advent, now I only see them on a handful of days. I’m learning how to enjoy days solo, and see the magic in alone time.

  • Post solstice hygge

    Gosh I had a lovely “hygge” tonight with family. Hygge is a loanword from Danish, meaning a dark night, twinkly nights, good company (and good food and alcohol)

    Me and my mum cooked a starter and main, we had cheesecake, or cheese and crackers for dessert, so many snacks. Played a runthrough of a new board game I had in my yule stocking (a personal tradition), and a general knowledge quiz to finish up.

    I’m leaning into Christmas in a big way this year, as it’s the most normal Christmas I’ve had since 2019 (covid, mania, supported housing, mania, all got in the way of “normal”). It’s so nice to be well enough to be at home, to host an event even if prepping was so super demanding it took me 8 hours to complete getting ready (due all the the demand free time and pacing needed to cope).

    That’s the essence of a PDA christmas – you do it your own way. Lean in, or avoid most of it. Do it but in an unorthodox way. Adhere religiously to the rules of Christmas. Cling film wrapped presents.

    Whatever works for you, and the PDAers in your life.

    What worked for us mainly was that I set a “no expectations” rule – aside from no shoes in the flat. Other than that, we didn’t expect things of each other, and everyone was much happier. We made our own drinks, we did what we offered to help with, we’ve left the washing up for me and my carers to work on tomorrow (within reason).

    The Yuletide magic that I’ve been waiting for!