Update on previous post

My last post discussed ways to tackle rumination. I’ve recently been prescribed a med to help me sleep, that also works on anxiety. This made it clear just how anxious I am. It also made me realise I’m not really depressed, it’s just the anxiety feels awful (I’m experiencing enjoyment for one thing).

One of the suggested coping tools was creating a soothing mantra. I wasn’t sure this would be for me at the time of writing the last post.

Last night though, I found myself contemplating the idea of change, and whether that could be positive. I really struggle with this. I feel that the evidence suggests that life never changes for the better.

However, I ended up thinking “that type of change is plausible”, which I couldn’t fight against. Not possible, not inevitable, not likely. Just plausible, which of course it must be.

So I tried repeating it to myself. I experienced that as very soothing, and it prevented the anxious thoughts from starting. This was despite forgetting to take the sleep medication. I was surprised, and very pleased, with this effect.

I got about 16 hours sleep yesterday, so I’m awake at nearly 4am because I didn’t feel tired. For once, not because I’m too anxious.