lack of self belief

I’d love to create a peer support company for PDAers in time.

It’s just one of many things I’d love to do in theory, but in practice feel so lost on how to achieve them. A lot of me feels like I’m not someone capable of achieving goals and ambitions, of pulling a project to fruition.

My self belief is at an all time low right now, and I don’t know how to alter that. Brainspotting might be able to help some, and I should really be working on it in my own time outside of therapy sessions.

A lot of my feels like it’s just inevitable that I’ll bounce in and out of hospital. Some of me feels that accepting that would just be a lot easier. It feels like this loss of self-belief comes from the after effect of my recent admission, and the period of time after where I’ve not had any opportunity to achieve anything.

Instead, I’ve had to defer my studies. I’ve been passed up for meaningful volunteering at the local community hub, being told ‘oh you can just help like you always do here, that’s enough’. It’s not enough, it makes me feel useless and like no one has any faith in me. Similarly, my social worker telling me to take things one thing at a time made me feel a similar way.

The sense that no one else has any faith in me, and that I’m not achieving leaves me doubting my capability to pursue such a goal as setting up a small business. I see others launch into such a thing, and I have no idea how they have all the know how for such a project.